Review: Rimmel Scandaleyes Retro Glam aka Mascara of EVIL

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This mascara. This mascara. When I first coated my lashes with this stuff it was like the black symbiote that took over Eddie Brock and turned him into Venom. My lashes obtained spider-like powers, or basically just turned into ugly little spider legs.

It.

Was.

EVIL.

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The brush looks innocent enough, right? DON’T TRUST IT.

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It’s so goopy. So globby. Red flag number two!!!

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Here are my bare, virgin lashes. They have yet to aspire to be Yzma-like globs.

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One coat. They begin their transformation.

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Two coats. They begin to resemble pointed sticks.

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THREE MUTHAFUCKIN’ COATS, JESUS CHRIST. GET DA WATTA. GET DA WATTA!

Holy crap I have never used a worse mascara. It started flaking before it was even dry. It could stab somebody with my eyeballs. Rimmel needs to register this mascara as a dangerous weapon with the arms registry, seriously. God awful stuff. Tossing it. Burning it with fire. Dumping the ashes in a deep grave.

Rating: -5/5

Would I buy again? I don’t see snow in Hell’s forecast, so no.

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One response to “Review: Rimmel Scandaleyes Retro Glam aka Mascara of EVIL

  1. I got this and didn’t want to waste it so used my old mascara wand and put the scandaleyes mascara onto that wand which then coated my lashes evenly and worked better – although still not the best. From experience I wouldn’t buy any Rimmel mascaras as all the ones have tried have been far too gloopy.

    Like

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